Tuesday, November 25, 2008

How many times??? Dont Fuck with the animals, they are better than us.

BEIJING (Reuters) - A panda at a zoo in southern China attacked a student who snuck into its pen hoping for a cuddle with the endangered bear, state media said Saturday.
The 20-year-old male student surnamed Liu jumped over the fence at the zoo in the tourist city of Guilin, ignoring warning signs not to, Xinhua news agency said.
"The panda, named Yangyang, was wide awake. Apparently scared by the intruder, he bit at Liu's arms and legs," it quoted an unnamed worker as saying after zoo keepers managed to calm the bear and rescue Liu, the report said.
"Yangyang was so cute and I just wanted to cuddle him," Liu was quoted as saying from his hospital bed. "I didn't expect he would attack."
Scientists believe fewer than 2,000 giant pandas live in the wild in China.

Amazing Technology and a thank you to our troops..

I am not a war monger at all but i think some of these videos of what our troops are doing to fight terrorism are amazing. First, these are people who are threatening our lives and second, the guys in these planes are working to protect them. And the dog gets out alive, although i personally would have taken him out as well.
Because it is thanksgiving time and because i did not serve in the armed forces i would like to thank the men and women who serve this country every day and who will not be home with their families to enjoy the day. I will be enjoying time with my wife and family, and having family that has served and are currently serving i think i owe them the thanks and the prayers for their safety. Without their courage i couldnt sit here and blog like i do. notice how there arent a lot of blogs coming out of places that dont live in democratic societies? Thanks again.
No turkey day post would be complete without the phrase "triptophanic coma" so here goes.
After POP guzzles grog and stuffs his face with so much turkey he begins to grow feathers, he will have achieved a "triptophanic coma." there i said it.
This is a video taken inside the cockpit of an A-10 by the pilot and it was a night view. What you see is from 9700 feet away (almost two miles). The four terrorists had no clue there was someone watching them from almost 2 miles away. The A-10 was using a 30 mm cannon WITHOUT injuring the dog nearby who escaped unharmed. You can see the gun camera shake a bit as the pilot fires; then count about 4 seconds for the rounds to travel 2 miles.Every tenth round is a tracer, so the bullets you actually see are every tenth; they are getting hit with hundreds of rounds, but the dog is unscathed. Muzzle velocity on the 30mm is 2430 feet per second.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Monkeys as waiters, do they wash their hands before they serve you??

A friend of mine sent me a CNN link to an article about a restaurant in Asia using monkeys as waiters. This of course struck me as a genius idea and immediately made my mind race off to chores/tasks that monkeys may be able to do for me..like come to work so i can free up more time to blog, things like that. parking the car when i return from a long weekend and cant find a spot. hailing me a cab when they all pass me by because they can recognize the STINK EYE from a mile away. You all know i love the ape species so this warmed my heart. not saying i want to eat there. also not sure as a former wait staffer my self that is a good sign for the profession that monkeys are now doing your job.

Anyway check out the link, and please ignore that the sight i frequent is called weirdasianews. its all on the up and up, but as the name implies, there is some weird stuff going on, and thats just the way i like it. happy Monday

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

ESPN- this one could leave a mark....who runs that place?

ESPN drops ad campaign that was to portray college stereotypes

By Michael Hiestand, USA TODAY
ESPN canceled plans Thursday for a TV ad campaign touting its college basketball coverage after learning that the actors were to depict sometimes crude stereotypes of students at specific colleges.
A leaked memo from Anomaly, a New York agency that has produced past ESPN ads, described a casting call for actors in which it sought someone to portray a Tennessee student as "a slutty girl who would hang out at the cowgirl hall of fame" and a Notre Dame student who is "an Asian kid ... who's always fighting."
The concept of the ad was to have students working at an ESPN call center, representing their schools as they phoned people to try to get them to watch ESPN college basketball coverage.
The campaign was killed as soon as the memo leaked. "Our marketing department just learned of this casting call today," said ESPN's Mike Soltys. "The language and approach reflected in that document were not approved by us and in no way represent ESPN or the respect we have for the college community."
In the memo, which first appeared on awfulannouncing.com, the "defining characteristic" of the Marquette student is that "you don't really remember her." The Kansas student "takes great pains to point out that Kansas is very cosmopolitan." Syracuse would need a "Jewish kid" who loves college — "all you can eat buffets in the cafeteria, who knew?"

A little Positivity for NEISIR

"The greatest thing about tomorrow is, I will be better than I am today. And that's how I look at my life. I will be better as a golfer, I will be better as a person, I will be better as a father, I will be a better husband, I will be better as a friend. That's the beauty of tomorrow. There is no such thing as a setback. The lessons I learn today I will apply tomorrow, and I will be better."--Tiger Woods

Now lets go and take this thing by the neck and choke it out!

Monday, November 17, 2008

Aint Nuttin But a G Thang Baby...

Had to post my favorite picture of any Gmen, the one we miss OSE!!!
The Gmen did it again. Making punk bitches look like punk bitches. One week its T HO, the next its Ray "the mouth of the midatlantic" Lewis. Guy has a lot to say but couldn't talk for two years after his involvement in a deadly stabbing. Love how the guy speaks like he has found a higher power (ala Deion Sanders after railing lines of cocaine and beating hookers for over a decade) and how he is pretty much exempt from earthly consequence, except that is, when he plays the NY Giants.
Sure, the guy can play and is one of the best the league has seen, but he got his ass handed to him several times and missed key tackles yesterday (the whif on the 70 yard run was the best.)

The Giants roll on and get ready to take on the rest of the schedule. I don't think at this point anyone doubts the Gmen are the team to beat. Skins fans, i don't hear you anymore, what happened? Eagles fans, did the Pillies just tire out you out or what? I guess its lonely at the top.

Im not taking anything for granted, we were the team to knock off an 18-0 Pats squad so anything can happen. Nuttin but a G Thang!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Incredible Story...

This is an incredible story!
This is an Incredible story!In 1986, Peter Davies was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Peter approached it very carefully.He got down on one knee, inspected the elephant's foot, and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Peter worked the wood out with his knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Peter stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Peter never forgot that elephant or the events of that day.Twenty years later, Peter was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Peter and his son Cameron were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Peter, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man.Remembering the encounter in 1986, Peter could not help wondering if this was the same elephant. Peter summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing, and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Peter legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly.Probably wasn't the same f*cking elephant

Scrooge McDuck, the OG of money bags...

I was sitting around thinking, that was my first mistake!

It occurred to me that my first recollection of wanting to go on the paper chase and stack mad loot was when i was about 7 years old and i was watching the old show Duck Tales and scrooge mcduck goes into his huge mansion and starts diving into a vault full of gold coins and cash (video link below, thank my research assistant, DONNY). I remember thinking that i could get pretty good at swimming around in cash. i wish i had known then that was highly unlikely and that luck and timing would have to meet at a deserted country road and decide to take me along for the ride if that was going to happen. i am now swimming in a cesspool of economic abyss where no one is quite sure what to make of this whole mess. One thing i know is that there are less Scrooge McDucks then there was a few years ago and that Scrooge better be careful because the pool isn't as deep as it used to be. You think the three little ducks got their allowance cut?? I wonder if they regret buying that pro hockey team? Imagine the "true Hollywood story of the Ducks."
"You know we were just little chicks when all that money came pouring in and i think it really spoiled us, the cars, the other hot chicks who used to come over after we hit the club, all of it. if you had told me that i would be giving bill to other ducks in the men's room of a bus station i would have said you were a liar."

SO, that explains why i dont just sit around and think that much..it gets weird quickly.

No End In Sight just sponsored a racing team...I may be the next Joe Gibbs soon.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008

'Necks bein Necks, does this seem like a good idea to you? Dont answer that.


Life By The TROP!

This past weekend a group of our friends from college decided it would be fun to head to Atlantic City to do some gambling and drinking. The saturday night cap was the Don Rickles show at the Tropicana. The show itself deserves several of its own posts but it was one of the best live comedy show i have seen. He had the crowd in stitches the whole time.
Watching an 80 plus year old man keep a crowd (a very eclectic one at that) laughing for 2 hours was impressive. It also became clear that Donny is grandfathered in under the non-political correct act, allowing comedians to come out gloves off. He was also positive and patriotic so he really makes you feel like you are happy to be where you are.
The trip was like a bachelor party but without a bachelor. We stayed at the Chelsea hotel and it was really nice. the Trop, not so much. it is depressing version of an outdated Disney set. There were some people in this place who were knocking on heavens door and still pulling slots. i saw a lady rubbing bengay on her elbow to keep at it. This place was evidence of the fact that drinkers always drink, and gamblers always gamble, even in the economic downturns.
Makes me wonder how the places in Vegas are getting hammered. I guess these are the die hards, not some punk flying into Vegas, this is the Greyhound bus to the Trop and the Trop to a little place called Hell.
Most of us won money for a change and we really put the pedal to medal. It felt good. sometimes even in the worst of times you have to step back and enjoy your friends and the good times they provide. It was an oasis on the shore for us. Much needed.
I apologize for the delay in the post but was tied up yesterday. We only have 48 hours to ACDC.....the train is in the depot, getting some work done but will be back better than before.

Friday, November 7, 2008

This guy didnt listen, STEP AWAY FROM THE TRACKS!!!!

Clear the tracks, we got a runaway train!!!!!

CHOOOOO CHOOOO!!!! if you see smoke on the horizon and you hear a whistle blowing step back from the track..the POP express has left the station. Took it DEEP. the amber current soothed my sole and i am still left wondering how jack daniels is not $400/barrell. it is so much better than oil and gas. Hit some bars and had some laughs to get ready for the southbound train to Don Rickels at the Tropicana in AC with 8 of your best friends from college. If you are a regular reader of NEIS you know i love the Rickels, Dangerfield, Carson era of comedy. Irrereverence if you have not noticed, is something i hold near and dear to my heart.

Rickels is to comedy what Plato was to philosophy, a cornerstone really.
Heres to life and heres to living, gambling,whiskey, steaks, cigars and rickels...John Wayne, are you out there? call me.
i have a rotor rooter appointment for my colon on monday. last time i had a fishing lure and a boot in there, who knew. my belly makes the east river look like a lake in the canadian rockies.

Out of office reply: OLE STINKY will not be returning any calls today so if it is an emergency you are pretty much fucked.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

The Truth

Why I Blog..A cathartic process

I was out last night for a work dinner and put back a lot of red wine into old port. i couldnt sleep and was awoken at 5 AM to garbage trucks but instead of just getting up i let it get me really bent out of shape. 7 Am- no hot water in the shower. things are off to a good start.
I feel like i have a hobo who pissed himself sleeping in the back half of my head, where a brain should be.
walk to the subway and cant stop sweating. whats w 70 degree weather this time of yr? i get to my usual iced coffee stop, it allows me to fire off rapid fire posts, so we all benefit. as i go to get a straw for my drink a woman reaches across to get sugar and knocks a large coffee all over my suit and shoes. looked like i shit myself, and i almost did. the coffee burned the back of my leg and could not help just yelling "mothafuka" as loud as i could. i looked up and in the split second, i learned a lot about myself.
when a man stares rage in the face but doesn't let it OUT, that is the true measure of patience (and a flawless repression mechanism). i said "Accidents happen, don't worry about it. " at this point im as red as Lucifer and ready to explode but i just walked home, cursing to myself to shower again and change into another suit to schlep to the Cole mines. this whole mahamudra and meditation thing is really taking me places. next stop, shangri la....
life deals you lemons, make lemonade.
POP- optimism is the only FREE thing we got, but dont let anyone know that, they are thinking of taxing you 40% on that under the new regime.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The Knicks, making bad decisions, one day at a time.

So the Knicks, in their infinite shitheadery cut Patrick Ewing Jr from the team. He was the last man cut. I pisses me off for several reasons. They are as follows:
1) I am a Georgetown grad and have seen and been brainwashed by the Ewing machine.
2) I have seen the young one play and the guy can add some fire to this roster, while Stephon sits on the bench for 18 million/year.
3) The Knicks haven't made a good decision in years and this one is likely to stick. they guy was getting full on cheering sections in practice and everyone wanted him on the team. Except the team it turns out. Roberson better turn out to be a pretty solid addition to this team. The more i think about it maybe he is better he never got mixed up with this team.

Im just saying.....

This is in from our China office..Kenny Can Do is in Chenny Chendu..

Just think - if the Indians had given the Pilgrim fathers a donkey instead of a turkey, we all would be having a piece of ass for thanksgiving.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Cowboys and TO, crying again.

There are few greater pleasures than watching a bunch of overpaid and under performing players act like their hearts were in it all the way, for the "team." i love this clip of T HO from last year after they lost to....you guessed, the GMEN! now, this year he has the balls to send t shirts to the giants taunting them? I guess that's the kind of free time you have when no one is throwing you the ball and you are on the sideline for 75% of the game. Tell you what T HO, go yell at your offense to throw it to you some more, that seems to have worked in all the other cities you played in..then act all surprised when the teams and fans turn on you. Next stop, AZ for the final frontier of D bag pro ballers. At least you can drive nice cars out there.

Gmen are 7-1, please watch mr. T HO as he just says "it aint right" is his own little bitch way.


John Daly, i judge yee not...man gets tired from a long day of drinking.

According to Winston-Salem police, Daly appeared “extremely intoxicated and uncooperative” when he was found outside a Hooters restaurant early Oct. 27. With no other means of transportation, he was taken to the Forsyth County jail for 24 hours to get sober.
Daly said it could have been avoided if his friends had realized he tends to sleep with his eyes open when he’s tired, stressed and has been drinking. He said the driver of his private bus, parked near Hooters, panicked when he saw Daly and called the paramedics. [...]
“The bus driver called 911 because my eyes were open,” Daly said. “I said, ‘What’s going on?’ He said, ‘We thought you were dead.’ Anybody who knows me … when I’m tired, I sleep with my eyes open. They know it takes awhile to wake me up.”

Five Surgeons

Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.. The first surgeon, from New York , says, 'I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered.' The second, from Chicago , responds, 'Yeah, but you should try electricians! Everything inside them is color coded.' The third surge=on, from Houston , says, 'No, I really think librarians are the best, everything inside them is in alphabetical order'. The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles chimes in: 'You know, I like construction workers.. Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over.' But the fifth surgeon, from=20=Washington , DC shut them all up when he observed: 'You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no= brains and no spine, and the head and the ass are interchangeable