Friday, May 29, 2009

Fat Friday

At our office there is a friday tradition (started before i got here) called Fat Friday. The receptionist gets to pick the fast food place that the office will order from and then they place it. McDonalds is usually the choice. Most hungover Fridays a sausage egg and cheese with a hash brown would hit the spot but today i opted to pass on the FF. As the food was delivered people starting pulling out steak and cheeses on BAGELS! I had had never seen this on the menu, and i dont know that i am gutsy enough to eat one but people seemed really happy w the results.
The rationale was that since its actual steak its better for you than the ham (swine flu discussion ensued, they closed four more schools in the BX today) and sausage, well, we all know about sausage so the steak apparently is really the healthiest option? Putting a steak on a bagel is ballsy even at your own house but to have it delievered to work from Mcd's is straight gambling. Watching (and hearing) people gnaw away at the edgs of the "steak" is like watching crocodiles devour a gazelle on the nature channel.
Maybe if im more hungover next week i will walk out on the plank and jump into what is sure to be a gut busting, heart burn making, large dump taking, no chump faking FAT FRIDAY!!! I will report back on that. It has been known to cause extreme cases of EAS (explosive arse syndrome). 1 bathroom in the office too.
As a show of what a loser i am, i have found a guy who actually reviewed the steak and bagel and he also sounds overall pretty positive. I think he also must smoke crack bc his other "cant miss" is the fish filet. his description made me want to puke... he writes about it like he writing penthouse letters for inmates. Happy Friday and have a good weekend. Was that enough of a post for you Mista SHWAAAAAAAAAN????
"The Steak & Egg Breakfast Bagel. Maybe your not familiar with McDonald's steak bagel. That's okay, its only been on the menu a few years, and around here MickeyDees isn't generally on most of our minds as a good breakfast choice. But you have to try one of these. I can't pin-point what it is, but they put something in these things that's got to be close to the human version of cat-nip. Let me describe this incredible sandwich to you. Take one Bagel, & some sort of meat that tastes exactly like steak, but looks a little like grey square hamburger, add sauteed onions, some cheese and eggs... and there you have it: McDonald's Steak & Egg Breakfast Bagel.Yum.To better describe this to you, I have to tell you its not the separate parts of the sandwich, its the sum of all its ingredients. The grease from the steak is like an Au Jus that soaks into the bagel just enough to give it that soft chewy taste. The jokes on you when your realize some technical genius put McDonald's greasiest food on a bagel that has a hole in the middle of it to drip on your clothes. I've got to ask how does McDonald's do it? I mean really... 3.95 for Steak, Eggs, & Bagel? No where can you get that deal. Try going to Long Horn Steak house and getting out for under 4.00 with an orange juice. I'm starting to wonder if the local steak restaurant is price gouging like the gas stations are?I decided to investigate. Yesterday while making my journey through the High Point road McDonald's Drive-thru, I asked the lady taking my debit card what kinda steak it was. "Whatcha mean what kinda steak it is?", she asked.Me: "Well is it a T-bone, Porter House, a rib-eye?"Her: "Uh, hun its a McDonald's steak."Me: "Oh, really. It does from a cow right?"Her: "Oh no, honey it comes from a truck that come on Mondays."Me: "Really?" I was now Doing that one eye RCA/ Victor Dog Look with my head cocked.Right about then I could tell I was holding up the line when the guy behind me leaned out his window honking his horn and yelled "Are you ordering the whole freaking cow lady?"I turned my head in his direction and began to yell back at him "No they come from the truck!" But then I realized it was a really stupid come back. So I stuck out my middle finger, and blew him a kiss. The McDonald's lady started laughing. I turned to her and said " Can I ask you one last question?" "Sure", she said.I asked, "Is Ronald Here?""Ronald? There isn't anybody by the name who works here.", she replied."Oh", I said (kinda disappointed), "Thanks"And I drove off to window #2 for my little piece of mystery meat heaven.Thanks Ronald!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

One long post does not make up for a 3 month dry spell. But it is a start. An olive branch of sorts...which your readers appreciate


Mr. Schwan