Like Sam the Butcher Bringin Alice the Meat!

Not sure if anyone saw this ad that is sure to raise a lot of ire from the feminist community. It is for a new 7 inch burger sandwich that apparently will "blow your mind away." the description about sliding something long, hot and juicy in your mouth isn't all that appetizing either. BK says the ad will only be sent out in its Singapore market, where no man, woman or child can really fathom seven inches of meat so no one seems to be offended. They bring that ad campaign to the good old US of A where the flag poles stand tall and there will be an uproar..some people may say, "seven inches, that's nothing. what about a foot long? wait, that's been done." that scenario leads me to believe that seven inches, somehow so much more than 1 inch longer than the conventional 6"incher means that it somehow has sex written all over it ...i think its the woman with her mouth open on the ad that kind of sells the sex aspect but it is tough for me to pick up on subtle innuendos....

That, and everyone knows America is the land of the Big Truck, Big Gulp, The Big Kahuna, and of course, the Big Pecker, and that we should stand naked and proud with our patriot missiles out for all the world to see...When my 6th grade gym coach gave that speech there wasn't a dry eye in the place and everyone was moved..but i think that's because we all had our clothes on and he didn't and we moved because he started chasing us around.

The Blind Leading the....Oh shit, he is leading us!

GOV. Paterson isn't letting the mess in the State Senate cut into his party time. After insisting that Republicans and Democrats spend the weekend working out their differences and start passing legislation, the governor cooled his heels Saturday in Bridgehampton at a pool party held by Russell Simmons. Our spies spotted him "casually dressed" and "mugging for photos with two young beauties." The governor had "at least two security officials" who stood by while he partied until "well past midnight" and ate burgers.

I love New York. There is never a dull moment and there is a news story on every street corner but the fact that our governor is partying it up in the Hamptons this weekend while everyone else "sweats it out" in Albany is ridiculous. I have nothing against Patterson and i know he inherited one hell of a mess but the actions he has taken (or not) show me that he either doesnt care enough to or cant assist in what is the worst state crisis we have ever seen. The empty promises and the daily speeches about how "shocked" he is or how dissapointed he is in the state pols is tiring to listen to. He is acting like a Drunk Ship Captain who is raiding the bar knowing that with the amount of water coming on board there is no way he can make it.
We pay the most taxes of anyone in the country and we continually get some of the worst people to represent us. New York, New York, insulting voters one billion dollars at a time. I know SNL has spoofed him and other people make fun of him for his sight stuff but even if he was fully blind he should be able to tell that the people whispering in his ear are full of shit and making him look like an idiot. He clearyl doesnt listen to the voices that are telling him to take control so at this point our good captain is just going to sail without the rudder and see where we end up. If it keeps going this good he may be invited back to Russells next Def Jam..

Its much more important to have a washed up hip hop icon that annoys the shit out of everyone he comes across invite you to his party then to actually do the fucking job we pay you for. which you havent done since you were installed after the other idiot before you didnt do what he was supposed to do. That guy was and still is as smug and arrogant as ever so i dont really expect much different from his "successor". I wonder, what if a state budget meeting coincides with Diddys White Party? Tough choices all around.

so, my "how do you look yourself in the mirror award " goes to the Governor. wait, that may not be a fair award to give him. governor, you get the "you got a lot of balls guys, award." i hope you enjoy it, and the burgers, im sure they were good.

My "you are a dumb son of a bitch to live in new york state" goes to me...and about 14 million other people.

have a good day. and dont worry, we will be fine..what me worry????

You be the Judge...

If the green in the background wasnt a fashion staple of a revolution you would think this guy just busted out of the GIMP closet, with the cop from the Village People chasing him...

I just think Reuters could have picked a less "S&M" type photo for the cover of a story on Iran..Unless i got this from that "other site" i read when i start my day..

Talking Press Hop, now get up off your ass like your seats HOT!

This link sent to me by a loyal reader and it had me cracking up this morning....Talking bout Practice? Looking at this clip makes me realize that people have a lot of time on their hands but this is funny. trying to lighten things up after my tight assed post earlier...aka, THE DIATRIBE.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exOxUAntx8I&eurl=http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/extramustard/hotclicks/06/23/joanna-krupa-peyton-manning-sings-with-kenny-chesney/index.ht&feature=player_embedded

Mannys back, 50 game slap on the wrist..

Manny Ramirez played for some team called the Isotopes last night in a warm up to get back to playing for the Dodgers. Two things struck me as odd. There is a minor league team in AZ that is called the Isotopes and the name comes from a Simpson's episode where they are trying to move Springfield's baseball team and Homer Simpson protests the move(rightfully so by the way.)
The fact that someone went to the trouble to name a team after an episode of the Simpsons leads me to believe the owners of the team are the writers for the Simpsons, OR the owners of said team were higher than the Himalayas when they came up with it. Either way, playing for a team called the Isotopes as part of your re-entry to the league after a suspension for steroids is close to rock bottom.

What is actual rock bottom as far as I'm concerned is that 50 games is 27% of a season. A slap on the hand. MLB is basically saying that the worst offense in the sport doesn't even merit a full season suspension. Send him packing with no pay. Make him take random drug tests 4 days a week for the year and he can come back. What cracks me up is the steroids are illegal but no one seems to prosecute or charge anyone with these crimes. Who is Manny's dealer? They are designer drugs and Manny being nailed for them, then allowed to play again is BS.
MLB will never have any credibility if they continue to let people back in the game. Manny should be banned for life, as should anyone who blatantly broke the rules. I know I'm not the first to say this but Pete Rose doesn't get in to the Hall of Fame for gambling but a lot of these other guys will get considered? MLB is a joke, Bud Selig is a joke. I feel like the joke is on me, you and every other fan for liking this sport, supporting this sport and the ethics and antics it promotes. I am a Yankees fan and we have some of the all time juicers who have been on our roster and it has gotten to the point for me where i wont go to the park to see the freak show. Every home run, every 200 mph line drive will now draw my skepticism (from my couch where i am paying a fee to watch the game). Then of course, like a moth to the flame, i will want to go back and see them play but all the while i will know im being fooled. I have been pimped, and not in an Xzbit fixing up my car kind of way.
There, that's my high and mighty post for the month. I was just shocked to see Manny playing again so soon and in a month, it will be another guy and he will be off the ole' "Juicer Schnide" as i call it. then i will blog about that. It will be interesting to see how he is treated upon his return to LA. If i know that town they will overlook any past "issues" as long as he produces on the big stage...

Only in New York..

I love this town. the sights, the sounds, the smells and the stories. I don't know if any of you caught the story about the drug dealer yesterday who was arrested and in the process of being transported to central booking got shot by a stray bullet. I am not happy for anyone to get shot, but the irony of getting shot in the back while being transported for a felony you just committed made me chuckle. Only in New York. At least the guy gets to go to hospital before being sent to the lock up for a while.
The guy must have been thinking how terrible his day had just gotten when the police picked him up then he gets shot by random gunfire in the streets. I don't think he will see the "Karma" in all of it.

As i always say, we are not progressing, we are regressing. This incident just goes to show, life has a lot to do with luck, both good and bad...so watch your ass, and your back in this case.

Jungle Love, Its driving me mad...its making me crazy..

Is there a better way to start the day??? Two primates shagging on the hood of a car? Its a "CTRL ALT DELETE" back to basics post. Where it all begins if you will.

If It were only so easy. One monkey laying on the hood of the car going for a ride, the lady monkey comes over, jumps on the car and seems to say "hey big fella, saw you rolling by on the hood of that car and thought you looked pretty hot so i thought i would jump on for a ride...and i dont mean a ride on the hood of the car." To which the male monkey clearly says "sure you right, I tap that and cap that right here on the hood."

Would you rather be this monkey in captivity getting it done on the hoods of moving cars or be a free man who never gets laid?

This monkey has chicks literally chasing him down to jump his bones. His Wikipedia page says he played a big role as a voice over in Jumanji and was a stunt double in one of the Jurassic Park movies. He is supposed to be in a new movie with Steve Gutenberg but it is on hold. What a playa...

Just something to ponder as you weigh the value of your existence today.