Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas, and oil, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.
More updates to come...the P.O.P. is not a happy camper now but at least i have my health!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Reader support, POP needs it!!!
POP goes the weasel when the weasel goes POP.Welcomeback P.O.P - you've been using that moniker for too long to not use it now.Plus we always have O.P.E. (ole pink eye) to keep us entertained withhis nickname..Blog on playa, Blog on....
The Mets finally did it to their fans....
the Mets crushed the hopes of many a new yorker this weekend when they 100% blew what was a chance at the postseason. 29 games blown with the lead? out of 180 games that aint so good! i think I am glad i just stuck to being a miserable Yankees fan. always next year...i guess.
Friday, September 26, 2008
OLE STINKY IS IN THE REARVIEW....THE POP IS WHO I BE.
After a lot of reader feedback and in light of the fact that i want to take this act to Hollywood, i am going with my god given name, the P.O.P. Ole Stinky just doesn't roll off the tongue to corporate sponsors and the like. It actually feels good to be in my own skin and name and quite honestly the little one eyed creature was creeping people out. As if the name itself wasn't creepy enough.
Same flavor,same blog....POP
Liquid Assets
OLE STINKY is HOT like a skillet, many a post have been shot out there, try to keep up!!!
LIQUID ASSETS
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink a lot of beer & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
LIQUID ASSETS
If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.If you had purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00 today.But, if you had purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received $214.00.
Based on the above, the best current investment plan is to drink a lot of beer & recycle. It is called the 401-Keg.
There are two types of people in this world. Those who make something happen and those who hear about it.
from an Apple ad.
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore.They create. They inspire.They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.Because the people who are crazy enough to thinkthey can change the world, are the ones who do.
Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes.The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them, disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They invent. They imagine. They heal. They explore.They create. They inspire.They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?We make tools for these kinds of people. While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.Because the people who are crazy enough to thinkthey can change the world, are the ones who do.
If OLE STINKY had a tour bus this would be it...TGIF
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pyyhYskeghY&feature=related
I dont know where this whole blogging this is going to take me, and thats part of the fun BUT if i blow up this is what i would like to tour in. What says you are ready to rock and roll more than this? if you got something, send it along.
I dont know where this whole blogging this is going to take me, and thats part of the fun BUT if i blow up this is what i would like to tour in. What says you are ready to rock and roll more than this? if you got something, send it along.
The Mets, Killing You Softly
This is a sad picture that i got from one of my buddies on the PD squad...Mr Met tried to off himself due to unbearable stress..that and he was heavily vested in Bear and Lehman.
As you know i am a Yankees fan but since i am a New Yorker and have many friends who are Mets fans, i have decided to cheer on this group of cardiac arrest causing guys since my team sucks and cant make it to the post season. I don't know how Mets fans do it, i watched both games in the last two nights and each game comes down to the last hit. there is nothing better than a walk off hit like Beltran's last night BUT the night before they blew a 5-1 lead and had to burn through pitchers and tire out the squad. they cant afford to keep teams around like that. i like the fire that the team shows and will continue to root for them but i almost cant watch at points and i have a feeling they are in for more of the same with that bullpen.
To all my met fan friends, OSE is with you, but i don't know how you do it for the entire season.
Can anyone find out how many situations they have been in this year where it comes down to the last hit for either team? Jerry Manuel deserves a long vacation on the beach after this year. his coaches were bothcing signs to the batters and they were lucky to get out of there after the bunt for strike three. that kids not a bunter!!!!
While A Rod is picking up women who look like men, and Hank Steinbrenner continues to mumble to no one in particular about how to turn things around i am going to watch this NL race develop. its nice to watch other people agonize over sports!!
good luck, and make sure you have a cold one in hand, October is right around the corner.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
RIDE THE LIGHTNING...ACDC is coming to town!!!!!
holy smokes..i have waited my whole life for this moment..
my buddy just informed me that ACDC is coming to MSG 11/12 and 11/13 and i think it would be awesome to get as many people as possible together for a serious party. I'm thinking we do a back in black theme and let it rip..any takers? if so i will do a pay pal and we can get a bunch of seats together..if so, leave a comment.
Some of my first memories are of listening to ACDC on the old white cassette and i used to watch my older brothers rock out to all the classics and i was pretty sure then, as i am now, that rock and roll aint noise pollution!!
my high school wore silver and black and we used to come out to hells bells then back in black for sports..i just got goosebumps.its a shame to peak at 17 but what can you do! Ole Stinky never knew nothing BUT taking it DEEP!
ACDC at the Garden, that's all i am going to say.
it looks like the 13th is a Thursday which is probably better than struggling through 2 work days post ACDC. so many good memories are going to come back when that first sound hits that night. lets get it on.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Infamous Stringdusters
a guy i know from high school is in a sick bluegrass band that is really gaining notoriety and i think is going to be blowing up sometime soon. check out some of their live stuff on you tube. what i really like about them is the fact that is so original. both albums they have made are really good but the one listed on the link below is well worth it. you can get it on itunes...chicks dig it.
http://thestringdusters.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBvhKDlD8NA
http://thestringdusters.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBvhKDlD8NA
Thursday, September 18, 2008
GOAT- greatest comedic roles of all time...
Got to give it up for the comedians who make us laugh, especially with all this great news coming our way! i don't know any particular order but i would think it would have to be something like this:
1) Bill Murray- Caddyshack
2) Jim Belushi- Animal House
3) Chevy Chase- Fletch 1
4) Chris Farley- Tommy Boy
5) Eddie Murphy- Trading Places and Coming to America
shoot me some other ones that i am missing. I may put together a audio montage of the best lines from those movies..i say i may because "audio montage" i pulled out my A and i dont know if i have the tools for that job..one thing you know OSE will get someone on it, may not be my best man but someone will be on it.
1) Bill Murray- Caddyshack
2) Jim Belushi- Animal House
3) Chevy Chase- Fletch 1
4) Chris Farley- Tommy Boy
5) Eddie Murphy- Trading Places and Coming to America
shoot me some other ones that i am missing. I may put together a audio montage of the best lines from those movies..i say i may because "audio montage" i pulled out my A and i dont know if i have the tools for that job..one thing you know OSE will get someone on it, may not be my best man but someone will be on it.
Tough Times- we will be alright!!
So we have some major turbulence going on around the world right now. World financial markets are in the worst shape in recent history, massive floods and draughts, world jihad with daily attacks, the yankees missed the playoffs and it gets worse! we are not at the bottom..like greg allman said, "you cant lose what you never had.."
so, to spice it up a bit and to divert some attention from how bad it is i would like to start a forum for worst injuries people have had,. Lets focus on intense internal pains from the past to help cope with current external pains...i will get it started, if you post some good ones in the comments section i can get them into the rankings on the main page. i hope for your sake you dont take the number one or two spots from me!!
1) hit by car, broken hip/leg at 12- think this left some brain damage too, although i dont recall much before this accident so maybe it knocked me straight!
2) 5 broken ribs and a fractured sternum last year from a ski accident
3) had my leg run over by a trailer with a boat on it and broke my foot and ankle, tore all the muscles,ligaments and tendons as well as some nice skin loss. that was this April.
4) hit my face on the side of a curb and fractured my orbital bone and a broken nose, required several plastic surgeries- thats how OSE keeps his youthful looks..the pleasure with this one was that i had to go in and get the pebbles and debris removed from around my eye over the course of the next few years. a gift that kept giving. thats why OSE only has ONE EYE!
5) broken shoulder and shoulder blade from falling of a scooter in college. that broken arm did enable to play a Fletch like extension of the broken arm for almost a year, and helped me get some extensions and exemptions for testing, so see, there is a positive to every situation..had to go to the hospital dressed as a member of the mens Olympic gymnastics team (it was Halloween and a killer costume, chalk bag and all.)
So i started it out with 5, i have 22 majors and about a dozen minors that i have been able to chronicle/remember. after this last one with the leg my doctor thought it would be a good idea to list all of my injuries to get an assessment of things. so thats the assessment. i am worth more in parts than i am as a whole. good thing i checked that organ donor box!! Let me know what you got, also, lets be honest and post it is an ARI if it was an alcohol related incident..those readers out there know who im talking about!!!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Nice to see people weather the storm together
http://uk.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUKN1530098820080916
this has the makings of a great story.storm rolls in, drunks like to get drunk but the only place to do that is at Robert Laffite's. see, we can ALL GET ALONG, especially with the help of alcohol..i knew it all along!!!!
this has the makings of a great story.storm rolls in, drunks like to get drunk but the only place to do that is at Robert Laffite's. see, we can ALL GET ALONG, especially with the help of alcohol..i knew it all along!!!!
mixing church and state....not a good thing
wow, a pretty powerful post title huh? so i am driving down the road this weekend and i had the windows down, feeling mellow and enjoying the day and i flip around on the radio and hear a song with a good beat, good guitar solos and i catch myself kind of jamming out when all of a sudden some D starts asking jesus to save him and how he has laid down his heart for the lord..
very commendable indeed.
let me first say im a catholic so this is not a christian bashing effort but it is indeed a christian rock bashing session. if you want to be saved call the coast guard or ski patrol...if you are looking for jesus in your life church is a good place to start. if you want to lay down your heart, become a priest, but please DONT pick up a guitar and GO THERE. there are three things that will forever be linked..they are sex, drugs and rock and roll...most of us achieve at least two of those in our lives..not a whole lot of wiggle room in there for arena based christian rock and virgins and all that is good and wholesome in this world (for which there is a lot!)
anyway, i was duped and felt pretty stupid..i had to look around because i was glad i was by myself at the time..to cleanse my brain of that goodness i broke out some Alice and Chains and cranked it up. "YEAH HERE COMES THE ROOOSTER"
i like my rock stars just as they are thank you. totally and utterly out of touch with reality and if not dead already they are working damn hard at getting there..anyone ever hear of Kurt Cobaine, Jimi Hendrix,Jim Morrison, Jerry Garcia, the list goes on and on...people eat it up.
very commendable indeed.
let me first say im a catholic so this is not a christian bashing effort but it is indeed a christian rock bashing session. if you want to be saved call the coast guard or ski patrol...if you are looking for jesus in your life church is a good place to start. if you want to lay down your heart, become a priest, but please DONT pick up a guitar and GO THERE. there are three things that will forever be linked..they are sex, drugs and rock and roll...most of us achieve at least two of those in our lives..not a whole lot of wiggle room in there for arena based christian rock and virgins and all that is good and wholesome in this world (for which there is a lot!)
anyway, i was duped and felt pretty stupid..i had to look around because i was glad i was by myself at the time..to cleanse my brain of that goodness i broke out some Alice and Chains and cranked it up. "YEAH HERE COMES THE ROOOSTER"
i like my rock stars just as they are thank you. totally and utterly out of touch with reality and if not dead already they are working damn hard at getting there..anyone ever hear of Kurt Cobaine, Jimi Hendrix,Jim Morrison, Jerry Garcia, the list goes on and on...people eat it up.
The Fall STALL
i am a Yankees fan and have been my whole life, this is the first year they will not make the playoffs since 93, i was a sophomore in high school. the real sting as a fan was the absolute raping of season ticket holders this year to finance a new stadium. next year the tickets will all be too pricey for the average or even well healed fans because no one wants to pay 1200 to sit in a seat that in other parts of the country go for 1/10 that, and those teams make the playoffs, without a 300 million dollar roster. why buy season tickets when you can just buy tickets to the good games you want to see? if the team is going to suck like they do, and the ownership is going to continue to act like they do i think you will see a retraction of the fan base in NYC and people are going to resent them for the bloodsuckers they are..not that i am have a real opinion about it!!!
i feel like this with the knicks too but they are so damn bad i wont even go to see them w free tickets. i did go a few years ago and was given court side seats so i heckled the shit out of cliff Robinson chanting "cliff the spliff" after he was pulled over with a lit blunt. he eventually came over over and said "your killing me dog, my team is making fun of me." i did my part that day and cliff , you will always hold a special place in my heart...and call me if your in NYC..its 1-800-OLE-STNK.
note to pro athletes, dont DRIVE. period. ever, dont drive, that goes for celebratards as well.
GO GMEN!!!!!
i feel like this with the knicks too but they are so damn bad i wont even go to see them w free tickets. i did go a few years ago and was given court side seats so i heckled the shit out of cliff Robinson chanting "cliff the spliff" after he was pulled over with a lit blunt. he eventually came over over and said "your killing me dog, my team is making fun of me." i did my part that day and cliff , you will always hold a special place in my heart...and call me if your in NYC..its 1-800-OLE-STNK.
note to pro athletes, dont DRIVE. period. ever, dont drive, that goes for celebratards as well.
GO GMEN!!!!!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
LAKE FEST
so as the world financial markets collapse around us we threw it down in a positive manner this weekend up in CT for the annual lakefest..the weather was right but the company was perfect and i wanted to thank SUPAGLISI for taking the photos linked below and to also say that i am thankful to have such a great group of friends who like to get together and well, lets just lay it out there, who like to get together and let it rip. i judge the success of a party by how many people are left straggling on floors and couches in the position that they were in right before they passsed out. when i woke up it looked like someone was playing the old "freeze frame" game...now i know why the people in Pompeii had such looks of surprise on their faces, they weren't ready either! oh, and i may need to change my stage name from ole stinky to REDMAN after seeing how sunburned/drunk/bright red i look in pictures. maybe that explains why people stop when i cross the street?? and all these days i thought it was because they were scared of the guns. that still doesnt explain the pointing and laughing though, something i will need to address in another post.
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=198qp6g9.6c7sbo5h&x=0&y=opyiek&localeid=en_US
http://www.kodakgallery.com/I.jsp?c=198qp6g9.6c7sbo5h&x=0&y=opyiek&localeid=en_US
Monday, September 15, 2008
Mets fans clowning a REAL DRUNKEN man.....
i would like to thank all of my friends for never having done this to me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdnImqDmLqk&eurl=http://deadspin.com/
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdnImqDmLqk&eurl=http://deadspin.com/
VOODOO on YOUDUDE!
and we thought spygate w the patriots was newsworthy. i think it is the first time in my life i have seen the term witchcraft used in association with a sporting event..except the WWF, not a real sport..and JOBU from major league.
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=572469&sec=espn.com&&cc=5901
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=572469&sec=espn.com&&cc=5901
Friday, September 12, 2008
PURE SPEED
this is one of the craziest videos i have seen, guy breaking the world barefoot waterski record at 135 mph on his FEET!! few cards missing from this guys deck. click on the link at the bottom of the page to see the video.
http://www.barefootcentral.com/WATN_scott_pellaton.htm
http://www.barefootcentral.com/WATN_scott_pellaton.htm
Weathering the Storm.
i dont know if it the fallouts in the financial markets, the end of the summer season, impending doom or what but in my social research (drinking at bars) i have noticed a little more anger, a little more venom out there...the fun loving conversations have turned to discussions that end with "who knows", "its going to get worse", and the best one..."We are FUCKED!"
i bring this up as an observation but also as a coping mechanism for my own misery and to try and put some things in perspective. Ole stinky is the luckiest man alive, even though this morning i was pretty sure i was little homey halfdead, dry mouth and an aching head. OSE couldnt get out of bed, until i was hit with a lightning bolt of a revelation, i have no control over external events and what was a feeling of helplessnes has transformed into a proactive measure to embrace the change..all before 10 am...and i dont even have a life coach..so for my friends and family who are taking serious beatings every time they get up in the morning and go to work not knowing if today will be the last day, i think there is an addage that is apprapoe..."what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger"..i sadi that after my 4th shot of the good mr daniels last night..i was stronger for a brief, glorious momemt..
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE- Ole Stinky
i bring this up as an observation but also as a coping mechanism for my own misery and to try and put some things in perspective. Ole stinky is the luckiest man alive, even though this morning i was pretty sure i was little homey halfdead, dry mouth and an aching head. OSE couldnt get out of bed, until i was hit with a lightning bolt of a revelation, i have no control over external events and what was a feeling of helplessnes has transformed into a proactive measure to embrace the change..all before 10 am...and i dont even have a life coach..so for my friends and family who are taking serious beatings every time they get up in the morning and go to work not knowing if today will be the last day, i think there is an addage that is apprapoe..."what doesnt kill us only makes us stronger"..i sadi that after my 4th shot of the good mr daniels last night..i was stronger for a brief, glorious momemt..
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE- Ole Stinky
Thursday, September 11, 2008
LAKEFEST 08 -you only live once
As many of you know OLE STINKY is throwing a party up in CT this weekend and readers of this are welcome to join- if you have interest let me know and i will get you the details. YOLO
i felt pretty lame typing that..i hate acronyms. like speaking in the third person. may use it at work.."ole stinky dont feel like it so OSE aint doing it." period, point blank.
i felt pretty lame typing that..i hate acronyms. like speaking in the third person. may use it at work.."ole stinky dont feel like it so OSE aint doing it." period, point blank.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Most HATED corporate sayings
words like "wheelhouse"..."shop"..."kick the tires"..."take a spin through the models"..."round up on that later"..."its like xyz but on STEROIDS"...."glad i shorted it".."always be closing"..."thats why i drive a mercedez and you drive a honda (these are all real btw)
finishing sentences with the word "right", as if you telling me something implied i definitly agreed with you. if i agreee with you, guess what, i will say the words "I AGREE WITH YOU"...amazingly simple but gets lost in the shuffle of shitheadery that is the stroke job of corporate life. where would i be w/out this blog?
if you have some other ones please send them to me as i am compiling a list of the most annoying workplace phrases and i know i havent even scratched the surface. there are so many Ds in corporate america that i thought it made sense to get together and start calling these people out..its time for change in america, and i just want to do my small part.
finishing sentences with the word "right", as if you telling me something implied i definitly agreed with you. if i agreee with you, guess what, i will say the words "I AGREE WITH YOU"...amazingly simple but gets lost in the shuffle of shitheadery that is the stroke job of corporate life. where would i be w/out this blog?
if you have some other ones please send them to me as i am compiling a list of the most annoying workplace phrases and i know i havent even scratched the surface. there are so many Ds in corporate america that i thought it made sense to get together and start calling these people out..its time for change in america, and i just want to do my small part.
The HUMAN RACE
I was thinking the other day that sometimes when I look around I think the human race is taking steps backwards instead of forwards. There are people out there that not only know the missing link but may actually have blood lines to this mythical half human. I hear so much about global warming and air quality and other issues but no one mentions anything about the quality of the human race and our inability to stay out of our own way. I think we are doomed and somewhere down the line in 1000 years when we are gone, Charles Darwin will be sitting on a perch out there in the universe, laughing his ass off. Allow me to elaborate and you be the judge.
Do you think at any point the cavemen looked at each other and said “man this ice age shit is heavy, not to mention, its going to be fucking cold!!, I’m not sure we are going to make it…times are tough!”
I doubt it, by the look of the fossils we have been able to uncover most of these prehistoric characters appear to be chilling, naked, unshaven and living the dream, camping out every night under the stars, clubbing bitches and bringing them back to the cave whenever they want. Sounds like a more relaxed version of outward bound to me. And now they got those Geico gigs and its all gold from there. Those guys seemed to have weathered the ice age alright, now living in Malibu, hardly recognizable after their high end hair removal program. I think it is the same program that Rosie O’Donnell uses to keep her back and face pretty much hair free. She got angry when a kid at the zoo threw a banana at her feet and asked if she was hungry (that’s what prompted the hair removal sessions).
It makes me wonder what archeologists are going to uncover in thousands of years when they come digging in the good old US OF A.I think it will go something like this.
Lots of fossils that appear to be underfed, over siliconed, over juiced, with extreme sun damage, somehow detectable daddy issues, inferiority complexes etc. (yes by then DNA will pick on emotions too so watch out!!) Next to this homoaccesororus (that’s what I call them) wrapped around the arm bone is a crocodile Gucci bag. Ironic the fossil they find also happens to be one of the oldest known creatures to roam the earth. As old as dinosaurs, see the irony knocking? Crocs will still be out doing their thing in 3000 years, we will be long gone at this rate. If I listen to al gore we are all going to implode when earth gets so hot we just evaporate, that’s happening now, and will happen again in 4 years when there is another election. His timing is good since that is about all I have budgeted for my life span..
These days we find vases, bowls, tools and other things. When they come digging for us they will find accessories! Sunglasses, watches, hand bags that dogs can live in while the aforementioned underfed, over sped bipeds saunter on happily ever after into the abyss of world history. The fade to oblivion is upon us and its materialism and overindulgence is going to get us all. I guess if you look at the Egyptian tombs indulgence was one of the things that got them. We think we have BLING now, KIN TUT was the OG when it comes to bling and excess.
I would like to start banning people from carrying dogs in their hand bags. You could be sitting at dinner and relaxing at a nice restaurant and next thing you know a shivering 4 lb chuwawa that hasnt slept in 3 days like its owner, comes poking out of the $4000 “puppy bag” and is now hammering back a porterhouse and a glass a Chianti at the table. We got to draw the line, animals are not accessories, unless they are dead, but we covered that already with the crocs. I did, however, see a show in asia once that broke that rule but that’s another post with another rating.
Now onto the indulgence part, the fun part, the part that is almost certainly going to lead to my ultimate demise. I like to call them the “staples” food, drink, fun. The trouble with trouble, for me at least is that it ALWAYS starts out as fun. Anytime I have ended up in places I would rather not have been, surrounded by guys I would rather not have tazers and pepper spray attached to their belts, I think to myself “damn, I was SO CLOSE to having a great time. I tell you this not as an anecdote, because I have a closet full of those, I tell you this so you don’t think im some high brow guy who is holier than thou. Furthest thing from it. I indulge like the rest of us, and it’s probably going to kill me but I have such a good time doing it I have to say I don’t care. Its like having a dirt on your windshield after driving your truck through the fairgrounds mud bog but knowing that dirt got there having fun, tearing shit up so you don’t hit the wiper fluid, you let it harden and stay there, it helps keep the memory fresh. Its kind of like that..
The simple fact is that we are smart enough to know good and bad and right and wrong and we just choose the one we want the most at that given time. I think there was something in the Bible about that, after so many years of catholic school I blocked most of it out. The other half I blacked out in college so I pretty much have that repression mechanism working flawlessly thanks.
Speaking of the bible I had an interesting thought the other day. As I scrolled through the 75 different “reality” shows on TV it made me think what some of these shows would have been like at different points in world history. For example, if there was a show called Galilees Got Talent back in the day when Moses and the boys were hanging out I think it would make today’s version a little less exciting. maybe it would go something like this.
The announcer says “all the way from the hills of Galilee, our hometown boy, Moses”
“Moses here says he can light a bush on fire, Moses, the crowd is ready.” Next thing you know…BAM!, the bush is smoking and the thing just goes up in flames. The crowd goes crazy and cant believe what is just saw. if this happened today you would have to provide the studio audience with diapers in advance of the trick. Then in the final round after a few impressive feats it gets down to the finals and the announcer asks Moses- “Moses, do you think you can top the two other contestants? You need 65 points to win GGT for this year..” Moses, then looks over and gives a “brother please” type of look and tells the crowd to sit back and behold the greatest talent trick the world had ever seen, HE PARTS THE RED SEA!!!
You watch Americas got talent and realize, maybe we don’t have any talent if this is what we put up there? we got one guy who can swallow a boa constrictor and have it come out his ass 10 minutes later. that to me is not talent, it is resilience on the part of the boa to get itself out of the colon of this freak who picked him up at the pet store a few months ago. In that case, it should be called “this snakes got talent.” That’s not a talent, that’s a fetish, one best served off a stage and not in front of TV cameras; unless its robyn bird then it is fully acceptable for public access TV.
Another example is this show where they put u on a polygraph to see if you are lying in front of a studio audience. Let me first take a side bar to say that any idiot who agrees to go onto a TV show where they strap you into an unreliable, not court admissible machine, and then proceed to pepper you with personal question until you squirm and the machine goes haw wire deserves such punishment but the true pleasure is obviously in watching these losers twist in the wind…the only thing worse is the slack jawed onlooker who cant deal with the suspense and starts yelling at the contestant who willfully went on this show to “TELL THE TRUTH MAAAAANN!!!”
In the middle ages, instead of a polygraph they used rocks, and instead of a chair, they used wooden poles and stretching devices. no buzzers, they preferred to tar and feather people who answered incorrectly. We all saw Braveheart right? I picture the set of the show to look something like that last scene. They may ask the contestant “did thou thinks of nailing ye neighbors old lady while shoveling the dung into ye fire out back? He says “no no, I was only trying to get me dung out of me wheel barrel.” The crowd doesn’t like it so they stone his ass anyway, same shit different day, or AGE as it were. The stakes were higher then.
I just think we need to put some things in perspective and realize we have had a pretty good run as humans, we account for less than 1% of time on this planet so it shouldn’t surprise us that we are not the dominant species in the grand scheme of things. Going to hell in a bucket, at least enjoy the ride. Oh, I almost forgot, try to reserve good seats for me when you get there, it is going to be crowded…
Do you think at any point the cavemen looked at each other and said “man this ice age shit is heavy, not to mention, its going to be fucking cold!!, I’m not sure we are going to make it…times are tough!”
I doubt it, by the look of the fossils we have been able to uncover most of these prehistoric characters appear to be chilling, naked, unshaven and living the dream, camping out every night under the stars, clubbing bitches and bringing them back to the cave whenever they want. Sounds like a more relaxed version of outward bound to me. And now they got those Geico gigs and its all gold from there. Those guys seemed to have weathered the ice age alright, now living in Malibu, hardly recognizable after their high end hair removal program. I think it is the same program that Rosie O’Donnell uses to keep her back and face pretty much hair free. She got angry when a kid at the zoo threw a banana at her feet and asked if she was hungry (that’s what prompted the hair removal sessions).
It makes me wonder what archeologists are going to uncover in thousands of years when they come digging in the good old US OF A.I think it will go something like this.
Lots of fossils that appear to be underfed, over siliconed, over juiced, with extreme sun damage, somehow detectable daddy issues, inferiority complexes etc. (yes by then DNA will pick on emotions too so watch out!!) Next to this homoaccesororus (that’s what I call them) wrapped around the arm bone is a crocodile Gucci bag. Ironic the fossil they find also happens to be one of the oldest known creatures to roam the earth. As old as dinosaurs, see the irony knocking? Crocs will still be out doing their thing in 3000 years, we will be long gone at this rate. If I listen to al gore we are all going to implode when earth gets so hot we just evaporate, that’s happening now, and will happen again in 4 years when there is another election. His timing is good since that is about all I have budgeted for my life span..
These days we find vases, bowls, tools and other things. When they come digging for us they will find accessories! Sunglasses, watches, hand bags that dogs can live in while the aforementioned underfed, over sped bipeds saunter on happily ever after into the abyss of world history. The fade to oblivion is upon us and its materialism and overindulgence is going to get us all. I guess if you look at the Egyptian tombs indulgence was one of the things that got them. We think we have BLING now, KIN TUT was the OG when it comes to bling and excess.
I would like to start banning people from carrying dogs in their hand bags. You could be sitting at dinner and relaxing at a nice restaurant and next thing you know a shivering 4 lb chuwawa that hasnt slept in 3 days like its owner, comes poking out of the $4000 “puppy bag” and is now hammering back a porterhouse and a glass a Chianti at the table. We got to draw the line, animals are not accessories, unless they are dead, but we covered that already with the crocs. I did, however, see a show in asia once that broke that rule but that’s another post with another rating.
Now onto the indulgence part, the fun part, the part that is almost certainly going to lead to my ultimate demise. I like to call them the “staples” food, drink, fun. The trouble with trouble, for me at least is that it ALWAYS starts out as fun. Anytime I have ended up in places I would rather not have been, surrounded by guys I would rather not have tazers and pepper spray attached to their belts, I think to myself “damn, I was SO CLOSE to having a great time. I tell you this not as an anecdote, because I have a closet full of those, I tell you this so you don’t think im some high brow guy who is holier than thou. Furthest thing from it. I indulge like the rest of us, and it’s probably going to kill me but I have such a good time doing it I have to say I don’t care. Its like having a dirt on your windshield after driving your truck through the fairgrounds mud bog but knowing that dirt got there having fun, tearing shit up so you don’t hit the wiper fluid, you let it harden and stay there, it helps keep the memory fresh. Its kind of like that..
The simple fact is that we are smart enough to know good and bad and right and wrong and we just choose the one we want the most at that given time. I think there was something in the Bible about that, after so many years of catholic school I blocked most of it out. The other half I blacked out in college so I pretty much have that repression mechanism working flawlessly thanks.
Speaking of the bible I had an interesting thought the other day. As I scrolled through the 75 different “reality” shows on TV it made me think what some of these shows would have been like at different points in world history. For example, if there was a show called Galilees Got Talent back in the day when Moses and the boys were hanging out I think it would make today’s version a little less exciting. maybe it would go something like this.
The announcer says “all the way from the hills of Galilee, our hometown boy, Moses”
“Moses here says he can light a bush on fire, Moses, the crowd is ready.” Next thing you know…BAM!, the bush is smoking and the thing just goes up in flames. The crowd goes crazy and cant believe what is just saw. if this happened today you would have to provide the studio audience with diapers in advance of the trick. Then in the final round after a few impressive feats it gets down to the finals and the announcer asks Moses- “Moses, do you think you can top the two other contestants? You need 65 points to win GGT for this year..” Moses, then looks over and gives a “brother please” type of look and tells the crowd to sit back and behold the greatest talent trick the world had ever seen, HE PARTS THE RED SEA!!!
You watch Americas got talent and realize, maybe we don’t have any talent if this is what we put up there? we got one guy who can swallow a boa constrictor and have it come out his ass 10 minutes later. that to me is not talent, it is resilience on the part of the boa to get itself out of the colon of this freak who picked him up at the pet store a few months ago. In that case, it should be called “this snakes got talent.” That’s not a talent, that’s a fetish, one best served off a stage and not in front of TV cameras; unless its robyn bird then it is fully acceptable for public access TV.
Another example is this show where they put u on a polygraph to see if you are lying in front of a studio audience. Let me first take a side bar to say that any idiot who agrees to go onto a TV show where they strap you into an unreliable, not court admissible machine, and then proceed to pepper you with personal question until you squirm and the machine goes haw wire deserves such punishment but the true pleasure is obviously in watching these losers twist in the wind…the only thing worse is the slack jawed onlooker who cant deal with the suspense and starts yelling at the contestant who willfully went on this show to “TELL THE TRUTH MAAAAANN!!!”
In the middle ages, instead of a polygraph they used rocks, and instead of a chair, they used wooden poles and stretching devices. no buzzers, they preferred to tar and feather people who answered incorrectly. We all saw Braveheart right? I picture the set of the show to look something like that last scene. They may ask the contestant “did thou thinks of nailing ye neighbors old lady while shoveling the dung into ye fire out back? He says “no no, I was only trying to get me dung out of me wheel barrel.” The crowd doesn’t like it so they stone his ass anyway, same shit different day, or AGE as it were. The stakes were higher then.
I just think we need to put some things in perspective and realize we have had a pretty good run as humans, we account for less than 1% of time on this planet so it shouldn’t surprise us that we are not the dominant species in the grand scheme of things. Going to hell in a bucket, at least enjoy the ride. Oh, I almost forgot, try to reserve good seats for me when you get there, it is going to be crowded…
TRUE TO THE GAME....IM BACK ON THE BLOG
After many requests and much anticipation today marks my re-entry into the Blog universe. and i have to say it feels pretty good. so many things i want to get off my chest and it is good to be back in the forum where i can do that. i look forward to relaying what im seeting out there and hopefully provide a place you can come to check out all the stuff that makes you laugh and takes some of the sting out of the daily grind.
the last run at this i got a little crazy so i am going to try to keep it as tame as possible, language and content wise but that is more just a disclaimer my attorneys and wife said i should so..
so here it goes, TAKE 2, NO END IN SIGHT ----laying bitch slaps and dirt naps for all the haters.
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE
the last run at this i got a little crazy so i am going to try to keep it as tame as possible, language and content wise but that is more just a disclaimer my attorneys and wife said i should so..
so here it goes, TAKE 2, NO END IN SIGHT ----laying bitch slaps and dirt naps for all the haters.
YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE
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